


At Freedom's End

by Independence1776



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Jedi purge, Juvenilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-14
Updated: 2006-08-14
Packaged: 2018-03-05 08:58:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3113885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Independence1776/pseuds/Independence1776
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Jedi Padawan tries to survive the Purges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on the boards.theforce.net in 2006.

My Master looked over at me in horror. On the HoloNet display placed in the corner of the room Supreme Chancellor- no, Emperor- Palpatine continued talking to the Senate.  
  
“We shall become the first Galactic Empire!”  
  
Thunderous applause followed those chilling words.  
  
My Master shut off the unit with a wave of her hand. Neither of us could listen to it anymore. Only a few hours had passed since we had received the coded message to return to the Temple. But we stayed where we were. We weren’t with a clone battalion, or anything directly involving the battles going on. We were on an undercover mission near enemy lines, hoping to find out information about any plans the Separatists had.  
  
“Tana, prepare to leave. No,” she said, answering my unspoken question, “we aren’t going back to the Temple. I fear that the message is a trap, one that will take many more lives. I will remain here, but you must leave. Don’t argue with me, Padawan,” she said when I opened my mouth. “We don’t have time for that. We would be safer if we split up. We are much more obvious if we remain together. We do not look like relatives- you look nothing like me. It will be easier if you can get off planet without me.”  
  
“Master-”  
  
“I’ll be fine,” she said, smiling at me. “I’ll stay here for a few days, and then go into hiding. You know that it won’t take more than a few days until the clones arrive looking for us. And don’t ask if you can stay until I’m ready. By then, it will be too late. As it stands now, I might not have a chance to escape. If you leave now, you might have a chance at a life, no matter how hidden you may be. You might even be able to work against this new Empire. But there is no chance for that if you do not leave.”  
  
“Yes, Master.”  
  
I stood up from where I was sitting next to her on the couch and walked to my bedroom in the apartment. There wasn’t much in there, except a bed, a nightstand and a dresser. I grabbed my bag from under the bed and put some clothes into it, mainly shirts and pants, though I did pack a long skirt as well just in case I had to dress up. I looked over at the holograph on the nightstand and stuffed it into the middle of the pile of clothes. I couldn’t bear to leave behind that holo- it showed my master and I laughing together on the couch in that was in our suite in the Temple. From this point on, it would be the only reminder I had of her.  I then grabbed my dark blue cape from where it was laying on the bed and went back into the front room.  
  
“Master?”  
  
She looked up at me from where she was sitting on the couch. A lock of her blond hair was wrapped around her left index finger, a nervous habit that she had never really broken.  
  
“I’d remove the braid. It’s too distinctive.”  
  
I nodded and went into the refresher, dropping the bag and cloak on the floor next to the door. I grabbed another hair tie from the small supply that we kept in our toiletries bag and put another braid on the other side of my head. I then put a few more scattered around, mostly to keep my hair out of my eyes. Once I was done, I looked in the mirror. I no longer looked like a Padawan. There was no braid to identify me as one. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn’t have time to think about what it meant; I had to escape this planet first. So I walked back out and my Master nodded her approval. She grabbed her cloak and walked over to the door, waiting for me to get my cape on and grab my bag.   
  
“If we hurry, there’s a refugee transport leaving in half an hour. If you don’t make that, there are plenty of cargo ships you can stow away on, if you don’t feel safe enough waiting for the next one to leave tomorrow morning.”  
  
I nodded and hurried out the door. We made our way to the spaceport by using public transportation, but we were too late for me to catch the transport. My Master pulled me into one of the taverns along the crowded roadway, where she bought us a small meal and a drink. I ate quickly, keeping one eye on the other patrons and one on my master. I could no longer trust the people around me. I had a feeling most of them believed, or would believe once they heard, what Palpatine had told them about the Jedi. Too many people distrusted us already- I didn’t want to imagine how they would hate us once they heard his version of what happened. None of it boded well for hiding. I turned my attention back to Master when she cleared her throat.  
  
“This is where I have to leave you. I can’t be seen with you any more. Don’t cry. Remember, Padawan, attachment leads to the Dark Side. You must learn to let go.”  
  
I nodded, still trying to hold back tears. My Master left some coins on the table and left. She turned at the door and waved goodbye to me. I lifted my hand in farewell, not trying to stop my tears. A feeling told me this would be the last time I saw her alive. She went outside and the door shut behind her.  
  
Ten minutes later, after I stopped crying and finished eating, I picked up my bag and went back to the spaceport. I didn’t go the passenger terminal, for that would be useless. I went around to the cargo loading area, to the wide landing platform at the back of the spaceport. I slipped around one of the warehouses near the platform and crouched in its shadow. I noted the ships, which ones were droid controlled, which ones had a living pilot, and the amount of security each ship had. I couldn’t use a droid ship, for they often weren’t made for living beings to occupy them for any length of time. So, I had to choose one that had a living pilot. I further narrowed down the list to independent cargo haulers, for the corporations often had better security and could check for stowaways before liftoff. That left me about three ships to choose from. And whisperings from the Force let me know that the one farthest away was the best choice. I sighed, but trusted my feelings and the Force. After all, I was a Jedi Padawan. I could handle sneaking across the platform and into a spaceship, no matter how far away it was. Master and I had done it often enough on previous missions. But this would be the first time I’d do it without her.  
  
I stood up, still in the warehouse’s shadow, and slowly checked for guards, both with my physical senses and with the Force. There were none that I could sense, nor any long- distance security systems that could be a threat to me. I scurried across the platform, ducked under a ship, and hid behind the landing studs of another. Ten minutes later, I was safely hidden in the cargo compartment of the chosen ship. I put my bag on the floor next to me and made sure that it wouldn’t move. I had a small space between some crates, barely room enough for me to sit cross- legged with my bag, but it didn’t matter. I had dealt with more cramped quarters than this and often had in the course of my abandoned mission- and other missions as well. Barely five minutes after I had settled myself, I heard the pilot come aboard. Almost immediately, the cargo bay door shut and sealed itself against the vacuum of space. There was no going back, not that there was any option if I wanted to live and to do something about the Empire. I both heard and felt the cargo ship take off and make the transition to hyperspace. I had no idea where we were going, but I would soon find out. I felt through the Force, hoping its silence was correct and that I was in no danger, for the pilot of the ship. He was safely ensconced in the cockpit, and didn’t seem to be ready to come out anytime soon. I smiled to myself and slipped into a light hibernation trance.  
  
Barely twelve hours later, I snapped awake when I heard the interior hatch to the compartment open. I silently shifted to a crouch, and slowly drew my lightsaber from my belt. I looked between the crack of the crates next to me and saw a middle- aged man with slightly graying brown hair standing in the doorway. He was dressed in a red V-neck tunic that nearly reached his knees and burgundy pants that looked like they came from one of the numerous clothing chain stores that catered to the middle class. He was wearing battered black boots, ones that had to be at least a decade old. I couldn’t see his eyes from this distance, and I wasn’t going to risk any use of the Force to enhance my eyesight to see their color just because I was curious. He was slightly overweight, the tunic bulging slightly at the waist. He was holding a worn datapad in his left hand. As he stepped into the hold and faced away from me, moving the datapad so he could read the screen, I noticed a small bald spot on the back of his head. He was muttering something to himself about sellers and how they always tried to cheat him out of the goods he had paid for or had orders to transport, and how he didn’t have time to check this time because he was already running late. I smiled- that was why I had been able to sneak aboard undetected. He slowly made his way over to me, checking the various bins and crates to make sure everything was there. I slowly stood up when he faced my direction when he was about halfway through the hold, hoping that he didn’t have a blaster. But the Force wasn’t warning me about him. His eyes widened in shock when he saw me.  
  
“Hey, you! Get out from behind there! I don’t need stowaways messing up my cargo!”  
  
I bent down and grabbed my bag, putting my lightsaber back on my belt as I did so. I walked around the crates and about halfway over to the pilot. I didn’t want him thinking that I was going to do something foolish like tackle him.  
  
“Just what were you doing back there?”  
  
He shoved passed me and inspected where I had been hiding. Once he found that I hadn’t done anything and that the crates were unharmed, he grunted and then faced me.  
  
“We can talk better out in the main part of the ship. I don’t want you back here any longer than you already have been.”  
  
The man gestured for me to go first. He didn’t trust me to follow him, thinking that I would hit him from behind or something. I nodded and went over to the hatch and waited for it to open. I made my way to the main compartment of the ship following the guy’s directions. Not that it was a easy ship to get lost in- all I had to do was go straight down the hallway until I came to a room that had a small food prep station next to a set of bunk beds on one side and benches and a table on the other. I sat down on one of the benches. He sat on the opposite side of the table, put down the datapad, and looked me in the eye. I idly noted that their color was a watery blue, but I couldn’t focus on details now. I had to figure out what I was going to say, what I was going to do. Most importantly, I had to figure out what he would get from my answers and how he would react. Would he turn me over to the authorities on whatever planet we were going to when he heard my story? Would he just leave me to fend for myself wherever we landed? What if he figured out I was a Jedi?  
  
“So why my ship?” he asked. “Why not the refugee transport?”  
  
“I missed the transport and I had to get off planet. As for why your ship, it was open and there wasn’t much security on it. I wasn’t going to risk one of the droid- controlled or any company ships, so that left me few options. Yours was the one I took.”  
  
“Why did you need to get off planet?”  
  
“I’m a war orphan and I have the feeling that since the war is over, there isn’t much chance for me to make a life out for myself this far out.”  
  
“Or maybe you’re a criminal who wanted to leave the planet without going through the usual channels,” he said pointedly.  
  
“Wrong,” I said, even though he was correct. I am a criminal because of the simple fact that I am a Jedi. “I’m just an orphan.” I took a deep breath, trying not to think of my Master and how the galaxy had betrayed us. I had to keep calm for my sake.  
  
He sighed, stood up, and started pacing around the room.  
  
“Look. I didn’t like the idea that we got into a war. I don’t agree with what Palpatine did. I don’t even believe him about what he claimed the Jedi did. My grandfather knew a Jedi, and from what he told me, there’s no way that they would try to kill the leader of the Republic. I don’t like the fact that Palpatine remained in office after his term was up. I don’t like the fact that he’s made himself a lifelong emperor. It’s just asking for trouble. But I don’t want to have a stowaway on board, no matter that you’re an orphan- it could easily get me in trouble with the law. You’re more trouble than you’re worth.”   
  
“Then what do you want me to do? Look, I know how to pilot. I haven’t had that much practise, but I know I can improve. I can help you with shipping and cargo transfers and make sure you aren’t cheated. I could help with your accounts, if it’s truly necessary. I’ll work for you, do anything that you ask. Just please, please, don’t leave me to fend for myself. I’ve lost everything in the past few days. I need your help.”  
  
The man sighed and said, “Look, I’ll see what my wife says. I can’t guarantee you anything, but maybe she’ll let you help me on the ship.”  
  
“Thank you. It’s all I can ask for.”  
  
I had to stop myself from standing and bowing after I thanked him. It was too much of a habit, one that marked me as a Jedi. There were so many things that I would have to learn to do differently. Thankfully, the intelligence work that my master and I had done in the past had given me at least some practise. But it wasn’t much, and it wasn’t temporary this time. Now, I would have to adapt to a galaxy that was committed to hunting down and killing Jedi. And I wasn’t sure I could do it.  
  
He nodded and had me come into the cockpit with him while he checked our course. We stayed there for a little bit, and then went back into the cargo bay. He made sure to grab the datapad from the table before we did so. We spent the next few hours checking the cargo. I had the feeling that he wouldn’t like me wandering about the ship alone until he talked to his wife about me. So, after the evening meal, I put my bag in an empty storage bin underneath the lower bunk, grabbed sheets and a blanket from a cabinet across from the refresher, and curled up on the top bunk to get some sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Six hours later, the trader Kael woke me up to tell me that we were coming out of hyperspace in about half an hour. I thanked him for waking me and went into the fresher to clean up before we landed. I needed to make my best impression on his wife. Working for him would get me a head start. I’d have money, food, shelter, and a job that I could drop as needed. Still, working for him might make me too visible, but I doubted most people would see me as a Jedi. After all, I was just a teenage girl.  
  
Still, after a quick shower and a change of clothes, I was getting more and more nervous. Everything depended on his wife’s generosity. I didn’t think that I could survive out on the streets in the tense atmosphere of war. And I really didn’t want to think about the kind of life I might have to live if I did end up on the streets. Prostitution, drugs, rape, begging for food and work- there was no upside to being homeless. And clone troopers- I couldn’t avoid them. They’d be everywhere soon, looking for missing Jedi. The streets would not be a safe place to be. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down using a relaxation technique my Master had taught me, but it only helped for a little while.  
  
I went into the cockpit and sat down in the copilot’s seat. Neither of us said anything. Kael was busy watching a timer counting down the minutes until we had to leave hyperspace. I watched the mottled patterns go by, falling into a light meditation trance. There was so much I had to think about, adapt to, and worry about. But I knew that sitting next to someone who didn’t know I was a Jedi and who could turn me in for being one wasn’t a smart thing to do. So when the alarm went off, I jumped as though I was startled.  
  
“Daydreaming?” he asked as he pulled the lever to bring the ship out of hyperspace.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He nodded and I leaned back into my seat. It was one of the first lies I had told him, and it wouldn’t be the last. This was my life now, deception and survival, not the honest and productive life I had led as a Padawan. My safety now relied on the lies I told, and I had to keep everything straight. I sighed, hoping that I could keep track of it all.  
  
I looked out the viewport to the cloud- swirled, blue-green planet in front of me. The majority of the planet seemed to be water, but there were several large continents spread over the hemisphere facing us. Kael swung the ship into a marked entry lane, then turned on the comm and asked permission for landing. A bored voice came back giving him his vector.  
  
Kael followed the vector given to him, explaining to me the consequences of disobedience. They weren’t pretty and mainly involved being shot down. Apparently the people here weren’t taking any chances.  
  
“What with the war and all, there have been incidents with pirates and such. Thankfully, we aren’t a wealthy system, but we have enough trade here to sustain us. My wife and I were born here, and it’s where we have our store.”  
  
I nodded, letting him talk. I was busy ferreting out more information about the planet and its inhabitants from the Force. I wasn’t getting much, except that it had mainly stayed out of the war. It was peaceful, mildly prosperous, and ordinary. There wasn’t much else I could do at this point except to wait.  
  
I watched out the viewpoint with interest as we came into our port. Kael had pointed out the capital city as we flew over it, but he wasn’t landing there. His wife and he lived in one of the outlying cities on the far side of the continent. I watched the forests and the fields. Apparently, the planet grew much of its own food and exported the surplus. I was mildly surprised at the low population, but it was far out in the Rim. Not many people wanted to live that far away from the center of the galaxy. Still, there were signs of growth.  
  
Soon enough, we reached our destination city. Kael landed the ship at the far side of the spaceport near some small warehouses. I looked around, hoping his wife was there to meet him, but I didn’t see or sense anyone nearby.  
  
“Kael, where’s your wife? I thought she’d be here to meet you.”  
  
“Nah,” he said, turning off the power to the engines. “She’ll be at the shop. Right now, we need to get the droids from the warehouse to unload the cargo.”  
  
“Which warehouse?”   
  
He pointed to one that sat about fifty meters away. I nodded and got out of my seat. I made sure that everything I brought was in my bag and left that on my bunk. By the time I did that, the ramp was lowered and Kael was headed outside. I quickly caught up to him and he told me to go back and wait with the cargo. I nodded, stopping myself from bowing once again, and ran to the cargo bay. Once there, I sat on the edge of the ramp leading into it.  
  
I looked around at the other ships parked nearby, and the people and droids working around them. It was pretty much like any other commercial spaceport I had seen, but it seemed to be mostly small traders and companies here. I shrugged, figuring that there were few chain stores or big companies here. But that wasn’t what I needed to worry about right now. There was a line of droids coming towards me, followed by Kael. It was time to start earning my keep.  
  
Three hours later, as it was starting to get dark, we had finished transferring the cargo into the warehouse. Kael had told me more about his business as we worked. It was a small company, only his ship and the shop his wife ran. He followed a set trade route of going to three planets, though he was hoping to add a fourth now that the war was over. It was a small but profitable operation. He also told me that if he was allowed to hire me, he would try to expand his operation more. With only two people, he couldn’t do much. He mainly sold goods that he bought at his store, and transferred others’ goods from one planet to the next. He rarely ended up with things that he couldn’t sell. Overall, he was just one of the millions of people trying to make their own way in the galaxy.  
  
The two of us walked out of the spaceport and headed to Kael’s home. Out of habit, I immediately took the place a step behind him, and slightly to the right, but quickly moved forward when I realized what I had done. We walked in silence for a few minutes. I kept looking around at the bars and such by the spaceport, memorizing the route we were traveling. But the shady area was only immediately around the spaceport, at least on this side of town.  
  
“This is the downtown area,” Kael said once we got to a better lit area. “My wife runs the shop here. I’d take you by it, but I know that it’s already closed.”  
  
I nodded and he pointed down one of the main streets.  
  
“It’s down that way, about two blocks, and then a right turn. Third shop on the left. Nice area, quiet. Busy enough, though.”  
  
I nodded and followed Kael. He showed me the bank he would take me to when I actually got some money. I nodded, trying not to show my nervousness. I didn’t have any ID, and getting some would require going to the government. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. Anything that could lead the clones to me was a bad thing, and setting up a bank account would probably do that.  
  
“How big is the town?” I asked, trying to divert attention from the bank.  
  
 “It’s about five thousand people, mostly working age. We get a lot of transients because of the spaceport. During tourist season, the population doubles.”  
  
I nodded, thinking furiously. This wasn’t a large town, but there was enough turnover that I wouldn’t be considered too strange if I moved here.  
  
“There’s the real estate office. I’ll take you by after the next run to get you set up in an apartment or something. I’m pretty sure my wife doesn’t want you living with us forever.”  
  
“That’s if she says yes, Kael,” I said softly.  
  
He nodded and stopped talking. It gave me more time to look around.  
  
There were several temples to various gods, goddess, and other deities along the main street through town. There were plenty of stores and business lining the streets as well. Humans and aliens hurried along the sidewalks, heading home or getting their shopping done before it got too dark out. Humans outnumbered aliens by a slight majority, but I didn’t notice much antagonism among any of them. Still, everyone had the slightly weary look that I had come to associate with the fact that the galaxy was at war. No one could escape that fact, as supplies from varying planets and sectors had varied from week to week for the past two years. The news was full of the images of battle, mostly of the aftermath, thank the Force. But it wasn’t something anyone could escape, no matter how they wished it.  
  
Finally, after crossing several streets into a quiet neighborhood, Kael led me to a small house in the middle of a block of similar houses. The greater majority of them had at least one light showing through a window. The one Kael led me to had more- one in the front of the house, one over the door, and one coming from a room on the side of it. I couldn’t see much of the landscape, given how dark it was, but that didn’t bother me too much. I felt like I was safe here. The Force would let me know if anything changed.  
  
Kael took out his key and let the two of us inside. I closed the door behind us. Before I had a chance to really look at the room, a slightly plump woman wearing a green dress and a multicolored fabric belt hurried into the room.  
  
“Oh, Kael, you’re home! I was so worried about you!”  
  
She pulled him into a kiss. After they separated, she saw me and narrowed her eyes.  
  
“And who is this? And what is she doing here?”   
  
“I’m Tana Stanske. I’m-”  
  
“She’s a war orphan. I picked her up on the last planet. She said she needed a job. You know I’ve been looking for an assistant for a while.”  
  
The dark haired woman snorted and turned back around. She headed back into the food prep area and Kael followed her in.  
  
“What is it? You know that-”  
  
“I thought we’d agree on anyone who works for you. I don’t recall you contacting me before you left. You just hoped I’d say yes because of her story. Well, it won’t work. Now get out. It looks like I’m going to have to make more for dinner.”  
  
Kael hurried out of the kitchen before his wife could hit him with anything. Before I had a chance to look like I hadn’t been paying attention, he shook his head.  
  
“I’m sorry. I thought she’d be a little more agreeable.”  
  
“Maybe she just had a rough day at the store. I’ll try to talk to her over dinner, make her realize that I honestly need this job.”  
  
Kael nodded and then said, “Would you like to freshen up before dinner?”  
  
I nodded gratefully and followed him down a short hall. He opened a door and let me toss my bag in, and then showed me the refresher. I thanked him, closed the door, and cleaned up for dinner. Once I was done using the facilities, I looked at myself in the mirror hanging above the sink. I redid one of the braids because it was coming undone. I couldn’t help myself, and looked at my Padawan braid. I bit my lip, trying not to cry. I couldn’t, not now while everyone was awake, when they could ask questions. There were still holes in my story, ones that I hadn’t had time to figure out. Hopefully I would be able to stick with the basics at dinner. I used a quick calming technique and went back to the living area.  
  
Kael was there, and he showed me where the dining room was. The table was set for three people, and his wife was just bringing out the last platter of food. She set the platter of a meat I didn’t recognize next to the plate of bread at her end of the table. I looked at the rest of the dishes, and bit back a sigh when I realized the the dish in front of me was a salad. And there was some kind of steamed, dark green, leafy vegetable near my right hand. Not the kind of food I was used to eating. Similar, but not the same. Much of it was probably locally produced, so I doubted I had eaten anything like it before. The three of us sat down and started eating. After a few cautious bites of the meat, I smiled. It really wasn’t that bad. The woman turned to her husband and started interrogating him. I remained silent, trying to eat as much as I could before it was my turn. After Kael had answered his wife’s questions about his trip, she turned to me.  
  
“Okay, what’s your story?”  
  
I met her glare with an even gaze and said, “I was orphaned a little over a week ago, and I’ve been on the move ever since looking for a job I can support myself on. I ran into your husband and he offered me the assistant’s job, though he did warn me the final decision was up to you.”  
  
“So what happened to your family?”  
  
“Father left us when I was about four. Rather than stay on Coruscant, Mom took me and went to the Outer Rim. She found a job as a travel agent for a small company. It mainly entailed traveling from planet to planet, staying there for several months at a time, checking out the economies and such for visitors. I was able to go with her, so she bought a droid tutor for me. I’ve never really had many friends. Moving so often doesn’t really allow for it.” I took a deep breath and continued, “When the war broke out, the company restricted Mom’s travel to the areas away from the war. Tourism might suffer because of it, but there are always people willing to pay to get away from the war, even for a little while. But we couldn’t escape it forever. Mom was killed during a demonstration that turned into a riot. There was nothing I could do to save her. I couldn’t even bury her, everything was so bad after it. So, when your husband offered me the job, I couldn’t turn it down.”   
  
I stopped babbling and took a gasping breath, not caring that I was showing emotion. Even this lie rang with the truth. I knew I would never see my Master again, and I knew she would die. It wasn’t possible that every Jedi could escape, and she would do almost anything to ensure that any tracks led away from me. Besides, if I didn’t let my emotions out, the couple would suspect something was wrong with me. It was for the best that I did show them.  
  
After dinner was over, I helped clean up the dishes and such. It wasn’t much, but I wasn’t going to let myself be a freeloader, especially when I had a job at stake. After that, I was clearly dismissed so the two of them could work out whether or not I was allowed to work for them.  
  
So I went into the room where I had put my bag and dumped everything onto the bed. I quickly hid my lightsaber under a pile of clothes just in case either of them came in. I placed the cape I had been wearing on the back of a chair in the corner. I folded my other garments neatly, making sure the skirt wasn’t too wrinkled. Then I picked up the holograph, and rather than look at it, wrapped it in a shirt and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag. I did the same with my lightsaber, though I packed that one about halfway down, making it easier for me to reach. After I finished repacking the bag, I put it on the floor and sat down on the bed. There wasn’t anything else I could do now except wait for their answer.  
  
Before I could put myself into a mediation trance, someone knocked on my door. Reflexively, I used the Force to see who it was. Thankfully, it was Kael. I opened the door and smiled when I saw him. He gestured for me to follow him and I did so, out to the living area. There, his wife was standing. I stopped walking a couple meters from her.  
  
“Well, Ms. Stanske, I have decided that you can work for my husband. But there will be a probationary period.”  
  
“How long?”   
“Until I inform you otherwise.”  
I nodded and said nothing further. I sensed that she wasn’t quite happy with me, but that was up to me to change her mind about how she felt. And I wouldn’t use the Force to do so. I calmly listened as she listed what I would be doing. As long as Kael was on-planet, I would be helping her. Only when he specifically requested my help did I work with him. He wasn’t happy with that, but I had the feeling it was a compromise position. After she was done naming all my duties, I thanked her for letting me have the job. I then thanked Kael as well. Only the former looked surprised. My only guess is that she thought I was some kind of wild child who had no manners whatsoever.  
  
Kael sat down on the couch next to the entry into the food prep area and turned on the HoloNet. I stayed only for a few minutes, watching enough to realize that I didn’t want to see anymore, and then left the room.  
  
I didn’t care that it was unJedi- like to run from the truth, to run from what I feared to hear and see. But I had been through too much in the past few days. I was avoiding thinking about anything to do with the Jedi, no matter that little things kept reminding me of what I had lost. The way people acted towards me, how people lived out here, even the different accents. Everything was different. Everything.  
  
I grabbed my bag from my room and went into the refresher. For the first time in several days, I had the opportunity to take a water shower, and I was going to take advantage of it. Before I got in, I took all my braids out except my Padawan braid and the identical braid on the left. I didn’t want to take it out, but leaving it in alone would be a death sentence. I’d do it later, when I was alone and everyone else was asleep. I had to say goodbye properly. After my shower, I quickly changed into my sleepwear and went back to my room to drop off my bag. I said goodnight to the couple cuddling on the couch, and rather than stay there and further interrupt them, I went back to my room and to bed.  
  
I didn’t sleep long, my sleep interrupted by nightmares of clone troopers and death. One of them was about my Master facing down a monster in black and losing. That was the one that woke up me. I didn’t know if it was a vision, or just my fear. And if it was a vision, I didn’t know when it would happen. The thought of not being there when Master died... I took a shuddering breath and let it slowly out. I knew I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep anytime soon. I reached over and turned on the desk light. I got out of bed and and sat down on the carpeted floor next to it. I leaned against the bed and sighed. Now would be the perfect time to remove the braid. Now, when no one was awake and I would have the time to do a proper goodbye.  
  
I reached over and opened the compartment with my hair supplies in it. I pulled out the bag that contained my hair ties and quickly undid the braid on my left side. Only then did I reach for my Padawan braid.  
  
I gently picked it up, cradling it in my hand. I remembered the day that Master first braided it, shortly after my tenth birthday. We were in the middle of the Council chamber and she was kneeling before me. I was trembling in my excitement at becoming a Padawan. After she was done, she pulled me into a hug, ignoring the whispers coming from the Council.  
  
I took a deep breath, pulling myself away from the memory. I couldn’t live in the past. It was time to undo the braid. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I kept remembering the times that she tugged on it in mild discipline, as a show of affection, as a warning. There were so many things wrapped up in the braid. And the last one was a reality that I hadn’t yet faced.  
 _I would never be a Jedi Knight._  
      I started crying. I was alone in the galaxy, with only a couple of kind people I was putting in danger just by being there. My Master was gone, and I had to assume, in fact I  _knew_ , that I would never see her again. My entire  _life_  was gone, ruined because of someone who had not known when to give up power, and who knew that the Jedi were the only ones who would be able to stop that grab for it. I knew that my friends were dead, the few that had survived the war. The Temple was ruined and not accessible unless I wanted to be arrested and then killed. There was no one I could talk to, no one I could trust enough to reach out to. I was truly alone.  
  
The Force whispered that I wasn’t, and I knew that it was right. Still, as much as I had the Force, it had let the Jedi be massacred. I didn’t know what to do about it. I couldn’t avoid the whisperings, but neither could I live with them. I just had to leave it be for now.  
  
I cried harder, now truly mourning everything. I hadn’t let myself before; I had to survive first. But now, now I could let myself have that release. It was time. And I undid my braid.  
  
I eventually cried myself into exhaustion, and then sleep. I only woke when Kael pounded on my door to wake me so that I could start work.


	3. Chapter 3

Two years later, nothing had really changed. I was a partner in the business. My new friends were delighted with me. I never discussed my past, for it was too dangerous. But to them, it just seemed like I didn’t want to discuss it because it still hurt too much. And it did.  
  
Every day, there were reports of rebels and Jedi being hunted down and killed. Palpatine was tightening his grip. Clone troopers were everywhere, and rumors were that the Empire was even starting to conscript young human males. No aliens, and few females, were taken.  
  
Things in the Outer Rim were starting to change. No longer were we left in peace; every planet belonged to the Empire. Trading was down, because taxes were higher. And there was nothing we could do about it. People who complained were silenced.  
  
So, my new friends and I kept our heads down. Just by being with them, I was putting them in danger, but they didn’t know that. And I was learning to care for them, forbidden by the Code or not. I didn’t have a choice, not if I wanted to survive. The Jedi were gone. But the Code wasn’t, and I kept it as much as I could. But I had to be careful, as people were willingly reporting hidden Jedi. I couldn’t practise with my lightsaber, except inside my apartment late at night, or in the empty cargo bay when I was supposedly tinkering with the ship. Using the Force was out of the question except if I was alone. They never asked about my mother, for they knew that I didn’t want to talk about her. Barely three months after we had split up, Vader himself killed my Master. And he knew that she had a Padawan. I knew that my days working with Kael and his wife were numbered. What I didn’t know was if I was going to be killed before I made my escape. And escape I had to. I couldn’t leave them in danger. It was unethical. No matter how much help I gave them, it was too dangerous. But I knew I had to leave soon, very soon. The Jedi hunters had to be getting closer.   
  
But I had no idea how close they actually were. And it wasn’t like I could actually go looking for them. That would be suicide. And I had no desire to die any sooner than I had to. Yes, I know that isn’t a very Jedi-like attitude, but I never said I was the perfect Jedi. After all, I never completed my training. And it was highly unlikely that I ever would. I could barely even practise using the Force. Anything could be detected; anyone could report it. Most citizens that I talked to believed that the Jedi had really tried to kill Palpatine. They believed we were a threat to the continued existence of the Galactic Empire. And people would turn us in to keep suspicion from coming onto themselves.  
  
So I made plans to leave. There wasn’t anything else for me to do. I had to keep moving. Kael’s ship was a common model, and it wouldn’t take much to register it under a new name, get a new transponder code for it, and disappear. I would prefer not to take it, as it would ruin Kael, and run the risk of having him send out a stolen ship alert. There were many places I could go, though, places where the Empire had a nominal presence, or none whatsoever, like Nal Hutta. I wasn’t adverse to becoming a smuggler, especially if it was weapons to the burgeoning Alliance to Restore the Republic, though it wasn’t a top choice. There were other, more legal jobs I could get with my own ship, if I managed to buy or steal one, but I would do nearly anything if it kept me out of Imperial hands.  
  
Unfortunately, since I couldn’t look for the Jedi hunters, I had to rely on rumor and hearsay about where they were, and if they were anywhere near where I would be. And I was listening to the rumors in the market one day, shopping with Kael’s wife, that I heard that Darth Vader was coming to our planet. And there was no way I could leave. Kael was out on a run, and was expecting me to stay here and help around the shop. If I left, it would bring suspicion on me and my friends. I was stuck.  
  
Later that night over the HoloNet, we gave Kael the news that Vader was coming. He reacted as expected, worried and scared. But he felt that the visit wasn’t anything to be worried about; it was just a state visit to the planetary government. He wouldn’t take an interest in a tiny, family-run trading company. There were plenty of them around. Besides, I thought, Vader had no reason to believe that I even lived on the planet. But he had to know I was still alive.  
  
Over the next few days, the planetary officials made sure that most of the disreputable parts of local life were shut down or suspended for the duration of the visit. We didn’t do anything to attract attention.  _No one_  wanted to attract Vader’s attention. There were too many rumors about what happened if someone annoyed him. Furthermore, every local news broadcast was about the visit. The one thing we didn’t know was what Vader’s schedule was going to be. And that was what was worrying me.  
  
The Force was warning me. But I couldn’t know if it was because a Sith Lord was coming, or whether it was because he was coming after me. So, I spent as much time mediating as I dared. I received no clear answer. On the day Vader arrived on-planet, I took my lightsaber with me. I had no other option, and this way I could at least defend myself if he was here for me. But over the next couple of days, there was no indication of it. He left without ever coming to our city.  
  
Six hours after Vader left, Kael arrived home. We went to meet him and help unload cargo. After that was over, the couple went back home, and let me have the evening to myself after I made sure the ship was flightworthy. At dusk, I finally finished messing with the engine, and left the ship. I made sure that the security system was operational and started walking to the public transportation stand. I never got there.  
  
Just before I passed a Lambda- class shuttle, I heard a rhythmic mechanical noise. I froze, thinking that something was wrong with the shuttle. But it wasn’t. It was coming from the person, the  _thing_ , dressed in black and wearing a helmet, who had just moved into my path. Darth Vader.  
  
I froze. He was supposed to have left the planet. His shuttle had gone up to the Star Destroyer, and that in turn had left the system. But somehow, Vader was back here, and obviously waiting for me. I did nothing at first, hoping that he would make the first move, one that would hopefully let me live. But he remained where he was.  
  
A noise to my left made me turn my head slightly. Clone troopers were coming down the ramp of the shuttle, far more than I could take out by myself, especially with Vader there. They came around behind me, formed into a semicircle, and leveled their blaster rifles at me. I turned my head back to face the Sith Lord. He still hadn’t moved. In fact, he showed no reaction whatsoever to the soldiers. And that gave me a clue to what unit they belonged to, the unit who had helped Vader massacre everyone in the Temple: the 501st, Vader’s Fist. They were the only troops he would trust on a mission that would involve killing a Jedi. But I had the feeling that they were only backup.  
  
The Dark Lord reached to his belt and with a snap- hiss, activated his blood-red lightsaber. I swallowed and kept looking at Vader. I didn’t move, until he stepped towards me and swung the red blade at me. I dodged it and drew my own lightsaber. He obviously knew who I was, and he would be able to tell if I lied to him about being a Jedi. There was no point in hiding it. I turned it on, and met his blade with my green one. I managed to hold it for a couple seconds before he overpowered me.  
  
I was no match for him. He was too well trained. He knew how to fight against Jedi, having killed so many of them already. I was a Padawan, one who specialized in long-term undercover missions that had little use for lightsabers. I knew how to use one; I just wasn’t that good at it. And Darth Vader had only gotten better over the past couple of years, after fighting and winning against the Jedi, Knights and Masters both, who had survived the initial purge. I had gotten worse, not having been able to practise as much as I needed to.  
  
 I stepped back, trying to gain a little ground, but I remembered that the clones were back there. I deflected another swing, and swung at him, but he quickly moved to block me. I tried to use the Force to calm down, but my fear was getting in the way. I was facing Darth Vader.  
  
Seconds later, my arms were shaking from the strength I needed to block Vader’s strikes. I knew I couldn’t last much longer, but I couldn’t surrender. Vader would still kill me. I could only hope that he had left Kael and his wife alone. I knew it wasn’t likely, but I could hope.  
  
Vader swung at me again, and this time, he managed to knock the lightsaber out of my hands. I stumbled backwards and quickly regained my balance. I stood up straight, facing my end with as much dignity as I could muster. I looked at his eyes and held my hands in a “well, you won” gesture at my side. He said nothing, and swung his blade. I didn’t move, and instead gave myself up to the Force, reciting the Code to myself as I felt the blade hit my body.


End file.
